Wednesday 30 January 2008

another great saturday!

republic day 2008. saturday
it was a dry day, but without going into a pub/club, without going anywhere new, without stepping out of the city, i had a great time. just coz we did so much, and coz all of us were together all day.

elaboration:
i was woken at 11 am by suhail watching the adelaide match between ind-aus, which was ultimately drawn. dipu came over 5 minutes after that, so it was a nice wake up, surrounded by friends. we all took turns playing xbox while suhail and i also got ready. around 1 we (suhail, ruchi, dipu and i) went to phoenix mills, where we met up with shek and shef. for about 45 minutes the 6 of us window shopped, saw the sales and the snakelike line outside big bazaar.

then around 145-2 we had lunch at the noodle bar. this involved us doing the puzzles on the paper table mats. shek provided a hilarious moment by turning his mat over and making obscene and vulgar drawings, not realizing that the waitress was standing over his shoulder. needless to say, he hastily scribbled over it and tore the page and turned it back over!!!

then we got into 2 cabs, the 6 of us, and went to imax wadala. there, in the 3d imax dome we saw a 45 minute movie called 'santa and the snowman', dipu's choice! still, it was ok except the last 15 minutes, which dragged on. after the movie, we all had ice creams (a first) from baskin robbins, and played some arcade games, including some boxing game which was great fun. suhail and i chipped in for shek's fights!! he still lost finally though :(

then we took cabs and went to bandra bandstand, where we got off in front of SRK's house, mannat. stood there for 10 minutes while ruchi clicked pics and shek tried desperately to catch a glimpse. we then had some chaats, walked along the bandstand enjoying the cold ocean breeze, went out to the rocks, slipping and sliding on the moss (dipu the ungainly was the funniest sight!)

then we walked over to the taj land's end, sat for an hour and a half or so, had some soft drinks in their atrium, where shek lamented on the cost of each sip of the drink he took!
then we went to linking road and shopped at shopper's stop for an hour or so. i didnt shop due to my dire fiancial straits, but saw some nice stuff.

then we walked over to mcd's. here dipu left us to go home. the 5 of us ate there, then went to ccd at shivaji park. sat there till 1145-1200 when murarka joined us. shek nearly got thrown out for being too loud. sat around another half hour, then everyone went to their respective homes. murli and i walked back to dadar, a nice half hour walk. got back be around 1-115.

suhail, murli and i then played xbox till 515, then murli and i chatted a bit and finally slept at 6 am.

nice day? i think so....surrounded by my friends, from morning till morning!! that too almost all of us, almost all the time! what more can one want?

Sunday 20 January 2008

campus revisited

ah well.....after literally weeks, maybe even months, of eagerly waiting, i finally went to campus on the weekend of 11th january. i needed to go....i think it was mainly for two reasons, both conflicting



one was that i was desperately missing campus. i was missing being a student. after 7 months of monotony in work life, i wanted to go back to a familiar place, where i lived my best days, where i knew everyone around. just so i could relive those memories and be happy in the laid back lifestyle. it was to be like balm for my soul, searching for familiarity in this new life



the second reason was that i was deperately missing campus. i havent been able to get over it, over leaving it knowing i'll never have it back. it's like a physical ache, a very strong ache that sometimes threatens to overcome me. i needed to go to campus and see the 2 junior batches to know that i was now an outsider. that i didnt belong there anymore. that that's not where my friends now were. that things were different. maybe then i would get some closure...and get over it to an extent.



as i'm writing this, it's less than a week since i've returned. it's too soon to tell whether the trip served its purpose.

all i know is i had a blast. from our group, only murarka and suhail were there. while i missed the others, not havin them around helped me bond with others. actually, i cant explain it, but there was already some invisible bond between all my batchmates who turned up. we were linked together by the same campus, the same love for it, the pining for it. it was evident in the warmth we exhibited to each other, the way we hugged people we'd hardly known back when we studied there, the way everyone was smiling!



i stayed in h10, in abhishek gupta's room (1065). played table tennis. heard performances by euphoria, silk route and parikrama, as well as the rock contest. went to ganj, to eat at royal cafe and dastarkhwan, travelling by bus and vikram. went on campus walks and met alok and sonuji. heard bhat's commentary again. which was awesome! got drunk at the manfest party....



and then i felt terrible leaving campus again. in the knowledge that i was going back to office and its drudgery. and that i wouldnt return to campus for a long long time. and that when i do, things will be even more different. i felt empty....a sense of loss
but i do know this....in the last 7 months i've been earning, i've incurred some substantial expenditures. but i think the 14k i blew on going to lucknow was the best money i spent. i went to campus!!!!!!!!!

Friday 4 January 2008

is it love?

CLASS XII
i can't even remember how i met her....
all i remember is her in winter uniform...green sweater, grey skirt, red glass of fountain coke in hand.
her friends' names flash through my mind.....atam, berry berry, rahat
her sleeping. gokul threatening to wake her with a poke, grinning wickedly. me sternly stopping him.
expressing to her my twinge of sadness at her leaving for mumbai. her holding my hand.

i remember her smile, i always thought mohini's was kind of similar.
i remember waking around 6 and driving to the airport through pouring rain to see her off, and i remember missing her coz she took the other gate.

i remember those std calls i made to her from the booth near our tuitions, vasant vihar. they used to last 4-5 minutes, and cost 80-90 bucks.

i remember akshay making fun of the frills.

most, i remember how i felt about her. no physical attraction. i just wanted to sit with her, holding her, her hands in mine, protecting her from the world. she was never pretty, but she had always been beautiful.

her making out on scribble day with some guy, no strings attached. that hurt.
her being upset at not doing well in the boards. that hurt more.
visiting her, with the 3 page letter. now thinking back, that was really stupid. but atleast i remember her house. and the long black dress she wore that day.

i miss and cherish those memories of cold winter mornings in the school bus. it would stop in front of her apartments, wheezing and grunting. i would scan the embarking crowd and catch her eye. usually she, goks and i would sit together. pitch dark outside, gloomy yellow lights on inside. it felt like we were the only beings in existence, with the fog outside cutting off the rest of the world. complete isolation. we would huddle in the cold, playing games, along with neha and manjari. those are happy memories....

where did they go??

PRESENT DAY
december 24th, 2007. i'm in goa, with my gang from L. we're having a blast, and just preparing to set off for a christmas party in a club someplace. my phone rings; an unknown number. i start working up a head of steam for these damned telecallers. and when the high pitched voice says it's a N*****a, it takes me a second to recognize her. it takes less than half a second after that for all of the above memories to rush back to me. suddenly i'm that shy, hopeful, introverted, painfully skinny schoolboy once again, clothes neatly tucked in, shoes polished, tiffin in my bag, thinking about that demi-goddess whom i revered, that 17 year old who was the coolest person i knew. 17!!! what an awesome age!!

she's almost 25 now, and i'm well into 23 myself. where have the last 7 years gone??? we lost touch while she was in mumbai, and didnt know of each other's existence till goks came across her profile on orkut. after over 6 years, we said hi again.

when i found out she was coming to mumbai and i gave her my number, i didnt really expect her to call. meanwhile i mused at the pleasures of flirting with her in case she did.
all of that fell away when she did call. she called!!!! childish, innocent joy!! this girl might like me!!! the thrill of a kid saying hi to a girl he has a crush on. no other way to dscribe that thrill of pleasure.

we met twice, for a total of 6 hours approximately. it was awkward at first. not just due to the long time, but also because i wasnt sure if she'd prefer me to be the kiddy friend she left behind and who she was immensely fond of, or if she'd rather i acted my age, a young man, fairly mature, yadda yadda. tuns out i needn't have worried. being me was ok. if anything was not ok, it was glossed over by her incessant chatting.
i have not met anyone else who could talk 4 hours out of 5 in a first meeting. and i drank in her words. i dont know how much i followed. it was just such a pleasure hearing her and also knowing she was comfortable conversing.

i think the best thing i could have done (possibly in my life) was gifting her the bouquet of flowers that i did. she said no one had done that without ulterior motives, and that was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her. maybe a slight exaggeration on her part, but man, i felt soooooooooooooooo good.

on her part, i loved that she kept calling. she had no ego, and dutifully called whne she said she would. she took initative to meet me. she called me sweetie. and like a yesteryear romantic, she asked me to call her when i got home, to make sure i was safe.

and now she's gone. and i feel paranoid about her leaving so soon after we met after so long. it's like i'm afraid of losing her again, even though i never 'had' her, so to speak.
and all i can think of are the 2 lines running from her nose to the edges of her mouth, accentuating her cheeks. her perenially half closed eyes. the 17 million watt smile. the burn weal-like stretch marks behind her arms. the giggle. hugging her (something i never did 7 years back).
and all i can think of is holding her, protecting her from the world.

she was never pretty, but she was always beautiful.

is it just a powerful memory and idea?
or can this be love?

Wednesday 2 January 2008

the year that was

you know...of late (the last 2-3 years), i've started believing time is flying by faster than ever. and it always scared me. well, in comparison, 2007 has been truly frightening. so much has happened. so many new memories, bittersweet in nature!! if every year is going to be like this one, there's no way my little brain will remember even an iota of my life



it feels like only 4-5 months have passed, not 12, since last new year, spent in hyderabad (convention centre) with family. and it was a good time. after spending 4 days in hyd, i had returned to campus, only to feel homesick and scamper back in a day (chucking my goa plan) to surprise all!!



from there, memories just keep accumulating. the next was the manic process of placements. i loved my cv. i had been working on it since november. i was almost a star on campus when i got 16 shortlists from 20 applications. my name was on almost every list. and i pulled through. got 4 offers, selected my 'dream job' at kotak, and spent the rest of placement season drinking in the beauty of campus. the best was that placements ended the day we were leaving, so we were able to enjoy the holi/placement party about 2 hours before leaving. talk about JIT!!!

the next is our holiday to dharamsala/dalhousie. 6 days. cold wave. inadequate protection. incessant rain. potts' loosies. dipu's rum. snow. peeing in the snow. missing our train from chakki bank by 24 hours. not realizing it. general compartment. eunuch!!



and in the blink of an eye, convo. the proudest i must have ever felt. finally a graduation ceremony. by that evening, half our batch had left and campus seemed a less friendly place. the goodbyes. leaving the next day. i cried when i left home to come to L. i didnt cry while leaving it. but i felt the pain more acutely. i think campus set me free. made me more confident, more sure of myself. in a 100 acres of some of india's brightest minds, though i barely passed, i leaped ahead. can i even begin to express the gratitude and love i feel for the place and the people??



2 months at home. nothing on my mind. sheer bliss. catching up with the life i had left behind 2 years ago.

interjected with 2 weeks in europe. of which 5 days were alone. sheer independence of travel, accomodation, everything. granted, europe is easy to travel around. but that knowledge doesnt come before experience. and it is a whole other continent, with different languages and attitudes. and for the first time, i bonded with uncles and aunts....not just as a nephew, but as a person.

another thing....the world shrunk for me. i started meeting people i knew all over the place. in malls (such as bittu), at airports (such as siddharth the pcom at delhi, samarth dada in frankfurt!!) and in other cities (sounak in cal). plus i knew people all over the place, people i could choose to meet.

anyway, then came mumbai. although ready for change, i was still upset leaving the wonderful life of home. bbay didnt make my initiation any easier. i got fleeced by the cabbie from the airport. it was friggin humid and i was sweating rivulets. i stayed at a hotel of lesser calibre than i expected, and the restaurant was closed by the time i reached.
took a month to find a half decent place to stay. hated travelling around mumbai. the only thing that made it easier was that there were tons of people i knew here....kept bumping into them as well.

well.....now life has settled since those trials. been staying here for 6 months. made a trip to hyd for meena mausi's silver anniv. went to kashid/murud with 'the gang'. went to goa with 'the gang'. went pub hopping, discing, friday night movie watching with 'the gang'. and now i dont know what i'll do in delhi once i shift, without all these people.

met a certain lady....am still wondering what that's about......
met an old school friend after 7 years....am still wondering about that too!!!! that's a heck of a memory by the way....

got initiated into work life. now this totally sucks. i miss being a student. i hate office. 7 months. and the frustrations of a disorganized company. making new friends/colleagues. a boss. muster for attendance. sales.
positives. party at poison. sneaking murli n shek into it. sri lanka.

good and bad have been mixed this year. among the worst...drifting apart from smriti. i miss her sometimes. feel guilty for not being there at her wedding.

anyway....more goods than bads i think. more importantly, so many memories.....i'll try and remember you, 2007, as the year in which i discovered....

goa, trip 2

hmmm.....what can i say?
the most exotic location in india....
christmas time...which is carnival season without the mad rush for new years
it was a dream time....with some of my most favourite people in the world (and against the wishes of some lesser preferred!!)

we went from 22-25 dec, leaving mumbai on 21st night by a/c sleeper volvo. 5 of us went, ie ruchi suhail shek shefali and i. it was a nice journey, commenced with games of cards on the upper beds. froze through the night, managing some excuse of sleep by tuckin my arms inside my shirt.
we woke around 9 and disembarked at mapusa, from where we took a van to candolim, shanu holiday home. it was a damn nice place, and after settling in, we immediately went to a supermart on the main road and bought ice creams and namkeens.
shobhit and shilpa joined us later, as their bus was delayed by some 5-6 hrs from blore

ok.....this blog is going to be too long if i write in narrative like this. so rest of it is in bullet points:
- rented a couple jeeps to drive around in for a day
- went at night to baga, where the brakes of 1 jeep failed causing a slight accident
- visited tito's, followed by a shack on the beach where we had dog and watched a firangi do a fire dance

- dipu joined us the following morning (sunday). we picked him up from the food court in calangute
- after settling the accident bill, getting the marooned jeep back and having some ice cream, we headed to anjuna to spend the day
- oh...most importantly, we had a dream location. candolim is quite empty, and more importantly, its empty of indians. though most foriegners were old, some were quite good, and a fair number were topless!!
- in a related aspect, i loved pete's shack, where we lounged in our beachwear, ate every 2 hours (thanks to dipu) and drank budweiser with every meal!!
- saw dolphins in the water, jumping around....a beautiful sight
- 24th morning was lazy, though we went in the evening for watersports at calangute and spent new year's eve at a club called paradiso in anjuna.....had free booze after paying entry!!!! also had a nice crowd, fireworks and dance floor with trance music
- 23rd night was spent at tito's, where the guys (suhail, shek, dipu and i) knockd ourselves out on shots. most were tequila, but one was an exotic one called head fcuk. i loved the name, if not the inadequate effect. also shek and i had beer, and tried our gym routines as dance steps
- 25th was spent entirely and solely on our candolim beach. sat on beach chairs, ate, played frisbee, went in the water, played frisbee there, read, etc. lovely chilled day. went to panjim in the evening to catch bus back. quilts werent available this time, so froze again

CONCLUSION:
i had an awesome time. as feedback for my friends, i would have appreciated more enthu for certain activities. i really wanted to go to a god party, which i was not able to. next time, will prolly rent scooters/bikes so each is free to do their own thing. would have also liked to visit vagator fort.
but i had an awesome time. spent 4 days with my best friends. met shobhit after soooo long. got along well with shilpa; she's a very nice girl. got a massive suntan on my face, and sunburn on my chest, shoulders and back (skin from which is still peeling!!!). all part of the experience :)