campus revisited

ah well.....after literally weeks, maybe even months, of eagerly waiting, i finally went to campus on the weekend of 11th january. i needed to go....i think it was mainly for two reasons, both conflicting



one was that i was desperately missing campus. i was missing being a student. after 7 months of monotony in work life, i wanted to go back to a familiar place, where i lived my best days, where i knew everyone around. just so i could relive those memories and be happy in the laid back lifestyle. it was to be like balm for my soul, searching for familiarity in this new life



the second reason was that i was deperately missing campus. i havent been able to get over it, over leaving it knowing i'll never have it back. it's like a physical ache, a very strong ache that sometimes threatens to overcome me. i needed to go to campus and see the 2 junior batches to know that i was now an outsider. that i didnt belong there anymore. that that's not where my friends now were. that things were different. maybe then i would get some closure...and get over it to an extent.



as i'm writing this, it's less than a week since i've returned. it's too soon to tell whether the trip served its purpose.

all i know is i had a blast. from our group, only murarka and suhail were there. while i missed the others, not havin them around helped me bond with others. actually, i cant explain it, but there was already some invisible bond between all my batchmates who turned up. we were linked together by the same campus, the same love for it, the pining for it. it was evident in the warmth we exhibited to each other, the way we hugged people we'd hardly known back when we studied there, the way everyone was smiling!



i stayed in h10, in abhishek gupta's room (1065). played table tennis. heard performances by euphoria, silk route and parikrama, as well as the rock contest. went to ganj, to eat at royal cafe and dastarkhwan, travelling by bus and vikram. went on campus walks and met alok and sonuji. heard bhat's commentary again. which was awesome! got drunk at the manfest party....



and then i felt terrible leaving campus again. in the knowledge that i was going back to office and its drudgery. and that i wouldnt return to campus for a long long time. and that when i do, things will be even more different. i felt empty....a sense of loss
but i do know this....in the last 7 months i've been earning, i've incurred some substantial expenditures. but i think the 14k i blew on going to lucknow was the best money i spent. i went to campus!!!!!!!!!