the pursuit of happyness

what is happiness?? is it merely the absence of sadness?
i've experienced happiness. i've experienced emotional neutrality. but it's the sadness that i notice most, when i experience it. somehow the happiness goes by as a feeling, not as a realization of feeling. with sadness its different. i think that might to an extent account for the second question.

i raise this rhetoric because i'm experiencing a sense of deja vu. in a few days i'm off to mumbai for my job, and while i'm terribly excited, more than at any other change in life before, the creeping feeling of sadness is snaking its way through me again. i love home. i loved my campus in lucknow. i loved home.

and the second i fell in love with campus, i knew i could never be totally happy at 1 place again; because there would always be at least one other that i would miss.
and as we grow, and experience more, there's always going to be more to miss. is life supposed to be this complicated?

i'm more ready for change now than i'll ever be in the future, but now is just wen i feel i'm settling back into home. it's a shame to have to leave it, and my family, and my dogs.....

but these shoes will trudge on i suppose....